Saturday, June 30, 2012

Sex, Lies, Computers and Cell Phones

Dear Husband,

I love it when you lie to me, then tell me a half truth and expect me to believe it. Please don't ask me to spell words that you are obviously texting to another woman. Please don't tell me you're texting another man "aw shucks". That's a lie and we both know it. If you're texting who I think you are texting then I know (or at least I hope) it's not sexual, but then why won't you tell me who it is.

I think your middle name should be delete since that's your favorite thing to do. Ever since we got high speed internet you have the computer rigged to delete everything after someone signs off. When we had dial up it wasn't like that. Do you think I don't notice? Why do you go on the computer every time I leave the house? I leave the house for five minutes and you jump on the computer. Good thing we got high speed internet, right, honey?

Same thing with your cell phone. Delete, delete, delete (yes, I check your cell phone especially when you've been drinking and fall alseep on the couch.) It seems like the more you drink, the more you text. Years ago I caught you texting another woman inappropriate things. You lied to me, said you would stop and you didn't. So I had to call her because you could not control yourself. Not exactly the proudest moment of my life. I forgive but I don't forget. You never forget the pain of betrayal. So when you drink and text, I think about that incident and my antenna goes up.

This may be a game to you. You may think you're getting away with this. You may even think it's not officially cheating but it is. Anything that hurts me and causes me not to trust you is cheating. What hurts even more is soon we'll have a baby. We will be a family. This child will connect us for life. If you hurt me, you hurt her. If you hurt her, you hurt our chances of being a family. Is it worth it? You decide.