Friends ARE Family

There's nothing like hearing from an old friend in a time of need to make you feel appreciated and loved. The fact that she choose me to write to, even though we haven't spoken in months, made me feel honored to be her friend. It also reminded me how important friends are. Friends may not be family by blood but they are family by choice.

They say you can't choose your family and that is certainly true. If you could choose your family (or your partner's family) would you really, honestly choose them? Even if you are family, what does that mean? I have family members I've never met. Some of them I haven't seen in twenty years. Ask me their phone number or address and I couldn't tell you. And to be honest, they have no interest in me either. Is this the definition of family?

But friends you can choose and they choose you. You can choose if you want to stay in contact or not. There is no obligation to attend this or that. A friendship is a much more casual relationship. Some days if I had to choose between spending time with a friend or a family member, many times I would choose a friend.

Being an only child has certainly influenced my friend over family belief system. I obviously have no brothers or sisters. I'll never have nieces or nephews on my side of the family. My grandparents are gone and my older aunts and uncles are slowly dying. Once my parents are gone, I'll have very little family. Friends are my new family. They're all I have left.

I treasure my friends and hope they'll be there for me for the long haul. The door is always open for family but I'm not going to chase you down to have a relationship with you. If you want to find me you know where I am. I guess being family doesn't mean much to some people. People get married and have kids and a far away family member gets forgotten. I get it - you're busy. When family lets you down, a friend is there to pick up the pieces. That's what friends are for, right? Who says family has to be blood related? Family is what you make it to be, it's the people that stick around. It's the people you can count on when you need them the most and if that's not the definition of family then I don't know what is.