Cheating and The Other Woman

Dear Other Woman,

I don't know who you think you are or what you think you are doing. I'm on to you and your game. I don't care what you think about me. I don't like you, I don't trust you, and I especially don't like the relationship you have with my husband. These feelings will never change. One day you and I will have a conversation. One day, other woman, you will know how I feel and you will have to explain yourself.

Dear Husband,

I don't know what you are doing. I don't understand why you would jeopardize our relationship. You know how I feel but you obviously don't seem to care. I am not going to put up with this forever. You may think you're sneaky and clever but cheating is the oldest game in the book. One day, you or she will screw up and I will find out...again. Until then, let's act like nothing's wrong, okay?

When is cheating actually considered cheating? When does it cross the line? In this day and age it's hard to tell. People no longer need to physically touch each other to cheat. We have replaced hands and mouths with other forms of communication.

No doubt technology has made our lives easier. It's also made it easier to cheat. Cell phones, computers, email, there's nothing that can't be hidden nowadays. Good if you're a government agent, bad if you're married.

Obviously, let me state for the record, anything physical is cheating. From hand-holding to sex, it's cheating in my book. But what about all the other stuff? All the gray area that is up for interpretation. Let's look into a few of these areas.

How one dresses, for example. If a female friend or co-worker of your partner comes over to meet the wife for the first time and she's wearing provocative clothing...in winter, what do you think? Okay, I won't judge a book by it's dirty cover, but I do think it says a lot. Inappropriate to say the least.

How about if a woman sends your partner a photo of herself in a bikini? Is that cheating? But on who's part? The woman for sending it or the man for looking. Is that cheating or poor taste?

Then there's cell phone calls and texting. Need I say more. The lines have become blurred and I can't see straight. Whatever is considered cheating nowadays or friendly flirting, when you find out the hard way it still hurts-physical or not.

Cheating, lying, sneaking around is the oldest game in the book. Sooner or later someone will find out or screw up. It takes a lot of hard work and effort to cheat, screw up once and you're done.

Is it worth it? What's the benefit? I almost envy the other woman. She gets all the benefits but does none of the work. I'm here in the trenches cooking and cleaning, waiting for my partner to come home. What is she doing? Going out on dates, having other men buy her dinner, and then if it doesn't work out she comes home and contacts my partner. I would like to trade places with her. Maybe then she will see the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

I know it's not entirely the other woman's fault. Men are not saints, especially mine. It takes two to tango. He chooses to talk to her. He chooses the tone of the conversation. He knows how I feel and he is not at all innocent.

So, you have the other woman, the man, and the wife. Where do I stand? I don't know. I'll be here in the gray area trying to figure it all out.