Marriage Is a Scam

Society and the media sell marriage starting from childhood. You, little girl, are a princess and on your wedding day you will be the ultimate princess and marry your prince. Then you will live happily ever after, right? WRONG.

Who wants to be a princess anyway? What does a princess do? Cook and clean? Is that the job of a princess? Please show me the job description because this isn't what I signed up for.

Society and the media sell weddings, honeymoons, marriage, kids, etc. Have the white wedding, go on a tropical honeymoon, buy a house, have kids, and you'll be happy. The why are we so unhappy?

Once you are married, society and the media doesn't even respect it. Sexual images are everywhere. You may be married, have the house in the suburbs, two kids, but don't you dare turn on the TV or computer. Even society doesn't respect marriage. Men and women think it's okay to flirt even if one or both of them is married. Flirting is okay, it's harmless, right? My partner will never know.  But what happens when your partner finds out, it is still harmless? Probably not. Nice try. See you in divorce court. If society and the media doesn't respect marriage, then why should we?

No wonder marriage is failing. Is it really worth getting into in the first place? Who would buy marriage if it was packaged and sold on a shelf? There are no guarantees, may not work, and it's very expensive. Sure, that sounds great, let's buy this marriage thing. Everybody else is.

What we are sold in the end is absolutely nothing. There are no guarantees, no happy endings, no happily ever after. You are not a princess and he is not a prince. In the end, a wedding is an overpriced party paid for by mom and dad who probably can't afford it anyway.

We're sold a dream, and unlike theme parks, dreams don't always come true. Keep your expectations low. The wedding and the honeymoon are the high points. It all goes downhill from there. How low is up to you.

No one tells you how hard marriage is. Why? Because it's not pretty, and white, and it doesn't come with a cake. When a marriage ends or comes close to an end, there is nothing to sell but broken hearts. And who wants to buy that?

Sometimes marriage comes down to the facts. You get a marriage certificate, a shiny ring on your finger, and a name change. Is that it? Pretty much. Marriage changes nothing. The problems won't go away. In fact, they might get worse, but you're married, right? You'll get through it. Maybe. Just don't ask a divorce lawyer.

I'm not against marriage, it can work. Just keep your eyes and ears open. Lower your expectations. Wedding and honeymoons are an illusion and a distraction from the real thing. I want all marriages to work but I believe from day one they are set up to fail. If marriage was a product no one would buy it. It's not pretty and we have no one to blame but ourselves. Society and the media build it up and you get to watch it all fall down from the comfort of your own home surrounded by wedding pictures and gifts. Sounds fun, doesn't it?

How do people stay married for so long? Is it luck? Did they find the right partner or did they just settle along the way? Are we all settling or do we deserve better? Is this it? Do we stop the marriage train or do we keep going? Sometimes I want to get off before it turns into a horrible train wreck. Isn't that what we're all destined for anyway?

So is the purpose of marriage to have children? Apparently not. I bet everybody knows at least one person who has had a child out of wedlock. Is there anything wrong with that? Absolutely not. Once you have a child you will always be a parent. Once you get married will you always be a spouse? Not if you don't want to. Parenting and marriage do not go hand in hand anymore. One does not need the other. What does this say about marriage? What does it say about us and society as a whole? So if not children, then what is the point of marriage?

Who will give us the answer? Society and the media? I don't think so. Other couples? I don't think so either. Every marriage is unique and different and everyone has their own answer, good or bad. But please, when someone figures it out, let me know.