Saturday, September 11, 2010

Women Are Not My Friends

I've never been the type of girl to have a lot of girlfriends. I don't know why. I can count on one hand the number of close girlfriends I've had my entire life.

I find true friendship with women incredibly difficult. I would rather hang around men or even be by myself. Being married, I spent most of my free time with my husband. Even though we live together and see each other every day, nothing beats spending quality time together. A friendship with a woman would have to be pretty special to take me away from that.

Friendships with women seem to come with so many strings attached. It's almost like every woman is looking for a mirror image of themselves. If one does not like your hair, the way you dress, your weight, or age, you are out or considered competition.

When I meet another woman I can actually see them judging me by their eyes, looking at me from top to bottom to see if I fit the friend profile or am I a threat to them.

I thought us girls were suppose to stick together, defend and support each other. But most of the time I feel constantly stabbed in the back from other women.

Women will be your friend only if you are not a threat to them. If you're better looking, we can't go out. If you're thinner or fatter, we can't go shopping together. You can be my friend but you have to make me look and feel good, if not better, about myself.

Friendships with women only become more complicated when men are involved. This complicates the friendship factor. If a woman isn't your friend it seems that your man is fair game. Sometimes even being married doesn't stop other women.

Look ladies, if you want to flirt with my man once, that's fine, but once you find out he's married hands off. Don't think becoming friends with me will help either or make you feel better. If you're after my man I can tell. What you think about me doesn't matter.

Also, old girlfriends, listen up too.  Don't think you can come back into my man's life years later and snatch him away with your charm. There's a reason you two aren't together anymore. He's married, move on, what you had is over. I'm sorry you're sad and lonely, but finding an old boyfriend isn't going to make you feel any better.

I know women are complicated creatures with many emotions. One woman's friend is another woman's enemy. If you want to be my friend, be a friend, no strings attached. If you want my man, just admit it, and bring it on.

I guess all women are not friends. I think in the end gender doesn't matter. We are all out for ourselves. A girlfriend can become an enemy in a matter of minutes. One fight and you're no longer BFF. A man gets involved and a fight becomes a catfight. The stakes are higher, a man is the prize.

I would like to have more girlfriends but as you get older, marry, and have kids, this type of relationship becomes harder and harder to achieve. I have no problems being friends with men. I can relax and not be judged. We can be open and honest. There's no fashion show. I don't need to get my nails done or guzzle a bottle of wine.  I can just be me.

Why are female relationships so complicated? Maybe we are too complicated for are own good. Maybe we make it that way. My husband can make friends with anyone, anywhere. Do you like beer? Then you're my friend. Done deal. Do you like football? Then you're my friend too. Done.

It seems like if a woman isn't supporting you, she's against you. If your friends, you're friends, if not you're the enemy. It's high school all over again.

Most of my close girlfriends are women I've known since childhood. Back in the day when we were innocent and boys were gross, the friendships were formed. If we've been friends this long, I suspect we'll continue being friends.

Women, I'll respect you if you respect me. Respect the fact that I'm married and my man is off limits. Respect the way I dress and act and I'll respect you. Maybe we won't be friends, that's okay, but we don't have to be enemies either.

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