The One True Thing

The one thing I really want may be out of my reach. The one thing I would sacrifice anything for may be gone. The one thing I thought I could do may be impossible.

Let me explain. As an adult female, I didn't get the chance to have a wedding or a bridal shower or a honeymoon. I skipped the shower and got married at city hall. Nothing wrong with that. It's cheap and quick but definitely not romantic. That's just the way it is.

We couldn't afford a wedding or a honeymoon and didn't have tons of family support for either. That's fine, I thought, I'm not a girly-girl anyway. I was looking towards the future.

I don't come from a big family. I'm an only child. No brothers and sisters mean no nieces and nephews. I wouldn't say my parents and I are close. That's my family situation and that's the way it is. I can't change that.

The one thing I've always wanted was a family of my own. I thought that would be something that I could control. I thought it was a given. Apparently, it's not. Maybe I waited too long. I was chasing after other things. It was not a priority until I got married and bought a house in my mid-thirties. We have three bedrooms-a master bedroom, an office/guest room, and a third room. The third room currently sits empty, like a hole in my heart, just waiting to be filled.

I thought that would be the easy part. My God-given right as a woman to produce a child. What could stop me now? Not money, not family, not social status. This would finally be my moment to have, and now it may never happen.

If I am lucky enough to get pregnant, I probably won't have a baby shower (that's fine too, I hate those things anyway). Another sacrifice I'm willing to make to achieve my final goal. I may not have much, but this is the one thing I want more than anything. The one true thing.