Two and a Half Years

I can't believe it's been two and a half years. I didn't think it would take this long. Obviously nothing is working. Doctors, surgery, medications, nothing works, but like fools we keep going back for more.

I'm sad, angry, and frustrated. I want answers not more appointments. I'm tired of being told to wait-wait 3 months, wait a year, things will change. Yeah. right. Nothing changes but my bank account.

I go to doctors and I'm at their mercy. I'm desperate and I want help. They have me where they want me and they know it. I'm putty in their hands. Not anymore. I'm taking charge of my own health. I'm not going to sit there and listen like a good little girl. I know they're the experts but I pay the bill. I want answers and I want a plan. Don't tell me to keep coming back for more. Give me everything you got. I don't have time to wait and try this and that. The clock is ticking and time is running out.

Two and a half years later and I'm still on step one. Step two seems so far away. Every month it gets further and further. I feel like I've tried everything and nothing has worked. If doctors can't help then who can. I thought God wanted a man and woman to procreate. Then why can't we. It's easy to be sad. It's harder to be proactive but the clock is ticking. It's always ticking and never stops. Weeks turn into months, months become a year, and the clock keeps ticking. It never stops and neither will I.