Plan B

I've been thinking a lot lately about what if we don't have kids or what if it takes another 2, 3, 4 years to conceive. What do I do in the meantime? Everyone must have a plan B or even C or D. I quit working thinking I would have a kid by now. I never thought in a million years we would have fertility problems. You always hear about it but you never think it's going to be you, especially when you're young and healthy.

As I wait, hope and pray to get pregnant, I sit...waiting. Waiting for something to happen. Even if I wanted to get a job, with one car that would be tough. So I sit and wait for something to happen. I feel like I'm on a plane, waiting to take off, anxious, excited but it's one unexplained delay after another. I'm in a holding pattern. I'm not going forward and I'm not looking back. I'm not going anywhere.

I thought a lot lately about going back to work and saving the money for either fertility treatments or plan B. I don't know what plan B is yet. It may include kids or it may not, it may include working, it may included moving, I don't know yet. It may include being married or not. In any case, there has to be a plan B. You can't depend on plan A to always work out. It doesn't work that way. I don't know what plan B is yet. It may be better or worse than my current situation. I won't know until I get there, but I have to be prepared.