What's Next?

What do I do next and where do I go from here are questions I ask myself often. As I sit and wait for something good to happen, I still need to live my life. I can't focus on one thing or I'll go crazy.

Maybe if I don't focus so much on getting pregnant, it will happen. As much as I hate to be told to relax and not think about it, it may be the best thing I can do. Nothing is going to happen overnight and right now we're doing everything we can. Only time will tell if it works.

I need to start living again and finding reasons to really live and get out of bed in the morning. Nothing will replace my desire to have a baby but I need to focus on something that will get me through the day. Whether it's a job or travel or a new hobby, there has to be something out there to keep me occupied. There's more to life than just wanting a child.

As I move forward and wonder what's next, I know I have many options out there. I just can't do them all today or at once. Maybe next year we'll try something else but in the meantime I have to do something. I can't keep living on a hope and a dream. Dream time is over. It's time to wake up and face reality. It may take years to have a baby, if it happens at all. I have no control and there are no guarantees. Whatever plans I made are out the window. I can try to manipulate the situation but in the end it's up to my body, not me or a doctor, to make things happen. There's nothing I can do right now but live, and get through the day, one cycle at a time.